This guy and a blonde are making out feverishly in the front seat of his car. After an hour or so, he whispers in her ear, "Do you want to move to the back seat?" She replies, "NO!" Flabbergasted, he says, "Why Not?" To which she replies, "Well, I want to stay up here with you. It'd be lonely back there!"

A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life. She cut her hair and dyed it brown, and set off for a drive. She wanted to do random acts of kindness to see if it would change her life.
While driving through the countryside, she came across a farmer who was trying to get his sheep across the road. She stopped her car and waved the farmer across, thinking this would be her first good deed.
After the sheep had all crossed, the blonde said to the farmer, "Your sheep are so cute. If I guess how many there are, could I have one?" The farmer thought it would be impossible and told the blonde, "Yes." "637," said the blonde.
The farmer was amazed that the blonde had guessed the exact number, so he lived up to his bargain. "I'll take that feisty one over there," said the blonde. Then the farmer said to the blonde, "Okay, now if I guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back???"

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. Val mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but Val begins to slip from the saddle.In terror, Val grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when......

The Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.

We blonds at the ofise are tired of all the the dum stoopid jokes about us. We think this is hairassment. It causes us grate stress and makes our roots turn dark. We have hired a loyer and he is talking to the loyers at Clairol. We will take this all the way to the supream cort if we have two. Juj Thomas knos all about hairassment and he will be on are side.

We have also talked to the govner to make a new law to stop this ursicushun. We want a law that makes peepol tell brewnet jokes s much as blond jokes and every so often a red hed joke. If we on't get our way we will not date anybody that ain't blond and e will make up jokes about you and we will laff.

Sined by the blonds at the ofise

A blonde is visiting Washington, DC. This is her first time to the city, so she wants to see the capitol building. Unfortunately, she can't find it, so she asks a police officer for directions.

"Excuse me, officer," the blonde says, "how do I get to the capitol building?" The officer says, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It'll take you right there." The blonde thanks the officer and he drives off.

Three hours later the police officer comes back to the same area, and sure enough the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop. The officer gets out of his car and says, "Excuse me, but to get to the capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus. That was three hours ago. Why are you still waiting?"

The blonde says, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now. The 45th bus just went by!"

Two blondes were riding a train for the first time. They had brought along a bag of bananas for lunch. Just as one bit into her banana, the train entered a tunnel under a mountain.

In the darkness, she asked the other, "Did you take a bite of your banana?"

"No."

"Well, don't. I did and I just went blind."

There were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde. They all worked together at an office, and every day they noticed that their boss left work a little early. One day they met together and decided that today when the boss left, they would all leave early too.

The boss left and so did they. The Brunette went home and straight to bed so could get an early start the next morning. The Red Head went home to get in a quick work out before her dinner date. The Blonde went home and walked into the bedroom. She opens the door slowly and saw her husband in bed with her boss, so she shut the door and left.

The next day, the Brunette and the Red Head are talking about going home early again. They ask the Blonde if she wants to leave early again.

"No," she says, "yesterday I nearly got caught!"

This blonde got a brand new sports car for her 16th birthday, while she was out driving she was having fun and cut off a tractor trailer driver.

The tractor trailer driver motioned her to pull off to the side of the road. When she pulled over, the truck pulled behind her and the driver got out. He took out chalk from his pocket and drew a circle on the road. Told the blonde not to step out of the circle, went in to her car and cut her leather seats all up.

When he turns around the blonde has a slight giggle on her face. So he says, "you think thats funny, watch what I do now." He goes into his truck and pulls out a bat and smashes her windows and her car up.

Now she is laughing. He gets mad pulls out his pocket knife again and slices the tires. She starts laughing almost so hard she can't stand up. Now the truck driver gets really mad goes in and gets the gas can and torches her car. Now she is on the ground rolling and laughing out of control. the truck driver turns and asks her "Whats so funny? I just destroyed your brand new sports car."

She replies, "When you weren't looking I stepped outside the circle four times!"

Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of Heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question. St. Peter asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful." "Wrong!," replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question, "What is Easter?"

The second blonde replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus." St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she's wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde. He asks, "What is Easter?"

The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, "I know what Easter is." "Oh?" says St. Peter, who by now can't WAIT to hear the next story.

"Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder."

St. Peter smiles broadly with delight. The third blonde continues, "Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out... and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter. "